Safety and corruption. Just some random thoughts…

No place in the world is 100% safe and if anyone tells you otherwise don’t believe them. Truly, it’s rubbish. With that being said, Serbia is statistically one of the safest countries in the world to live or visit, yet like anywhere it has its problems namely corruption and organised crime. Corruption, in its many forms, notably the embezzlement of public funds is rooted in just about every aspect of Serbian society from politics to football, and I don’t envy young Serbs in their concerns for the economy or hopes of meaningful engagement in future policy when faced with a system that must seem weighted against them. Maybe it’s because I’m an optimist, but I was struck by visible improvements in the capital just two years after my first trip, and I learned of sweeping crackdowns on law enforcement. The result may be nothing other than smoke and mirrors but I’d like to believe there’s desire for legitimate reform. I heard the faintest trace of hope in the voices around me, albeit wrapped in a thick slice of Serb cynicism. Ironically, there now seems to be an acknowledgment of change linked with concerns of growing autocracy in Belgrade.

As a tourist in this environment, your risks are small but it’s probably a good idea not to overreact in a confrontation or cause any trouble in some of Serbia’s amazing nightspots as many are likely owned and operated by the mafia…obvious, but just saying. After trawling through tons of travel forums and going on my experiences, the two things tourists need to be 100% alert to (especially in Belgrade) are pickpockets and taxi scams (the gypsies are particularly crafty), however, if you do want to tempt fate, go to a football match between hated rivals “Red Star” & “Partizan” ⚽. Yikes.

Women in society…a generalised and hardly comprehensive overview

Serbia has a patriarchal society, and I suspect it may not be dissimilar from Russian cultural attitudes toward family and women, and through that lens, there’s a strong emphasis on duty to your country and adherence to the values and traditions in the Serbian Orthodox Church. The line from my big fat greek wedding holds especially true, that “The man may be the head of the family but the woman of the house is the neck, and she can turn the head whichever way she wants”. In the same way that Russian women emerged from obscurity during the Great Patriotic War, Serbia has a long history of involving female fighters in its defence since WW1. Today, female soldiers and officers are proudly displayed on gigantic banners promoting the military forces throughout Belgrade, and I’d argue a shared feeling of patriotism and comradeship transcends sex in Serbia, a dependence on one another over centuries has put men and women on far more equal footing than most western countries. But not completely. From what I’ve observed, women are encouraged to pursue higher education and careers for the betterment of their family and their country, often this includes seeking full-time employment as well as undertaking household duties and raising a large family. Serbian women are headstrong and smart. They call out bullshit when they see it and don’t take a backward step in a confrontation, and given the opportunity, they’d conquer the world with beauty and brains all the while dancing to folk music.

We found generally that Serbian men take affront if another male approaches a woman in a less than admirable manner, and further to this, Serbia is not a place you’d expect an attractive woman to be wolf-whistled or catcalled. In fact, I’d wager doing so would be potentially dangerous. I’m not kidding, it’s the kind of behaviour that could get your head kicked in, by her, or her huge Serb friends/family. My missus made specific remarks on the anonymity she felt here and the sense of safety that she never feels in Australia. Now, I can be hyper-alert to unsavoury attention in new places, especially with a beautiful woman by my side (I’m naturally protective and her father said he’d cut my fu@#*ing head off if anything happened to her in Europe) but in Serbia, I saw a refreshing assertiveness and confidence about the women here at any hour of the day. Further, the missus didn’t get the uncomfortable unyielding eye-contact as elsewhere in Europe, rather, Serb men seem to have mastered the art of a quick comprehensive glance like this creep. 

Serbia’s nocturnal vibe is a slow-burning party well insulated with meat, bread, and more bread, but frankly, Serbs seem to have a far better awareness when it comes to binge drinking and respectful attitudes to one another in comparison to Australia. Rakija is sipped over social occasions and beer enjoyed slowly over a conversation. Overt intoxication in public doesn’t appear overly acceptable and I rarely saw those close to me drink to excess even in private. I suspect the thought of losing control is a strong motivator here and the perceived weakness it projects, something we Australians have very few qualms about. That’s not to say they don’t get drunk or find it bloody hilarious when foreigners do (happened to me a lot 🍺), their cultural attitudes are just different. Serbs are natural hosts with a desire to feed EVERYONE first and foremost, conscious of the hard times not so long ago when food was scarce. “Eat big. You don’t know how long it will last.”

I’d like to share with you a story that paints a picture of the Serbian societal mindset in these matters.

We were out with friends one night at an Irish pub (no joke) and by this point, we were all quite merry on rakija & beer (oh god, the hangover). We had just met “National Anton” and he was doing his best not to cry with laughter at my jokes. Being a Monday night the pub was empty save a table in the corner where two attractive women sat with male counterparts. After a few more drinks (liquid courage) our friend from London leaned into Anton and said, “Serbian girls are so fit. I’m gonna go over and say hi. What shhhhhhould I say?”

calmly replied, “No. Don’t do that. It’s not how we do things here.”

The response to this was a flabbergasted, “Why not?”

 grew assertive, “You don’t do that in Serbia. It is very rude to go up to girls you don’t know, and it is far worse if they are with other men. If you do, there will certainly be a fight.” Our friend from London stood and sized up the men at the other table. “They’re not that big. I’m Welsh, I can take ’em.” (They were huge by the way)

smirked and forcefully sat him down. “They won’t do a thing. They will watch while the girls put you in hospital. Now, sit down, and drink.”